The cold of the night sent shivers down Erin’s spine. She shuddered internally, meekly gnawing on her lower lip. Erin looks up to see Derrick’s eyes on her. She could see the different emotions clouding his eyes and more prominent in his eyes was confusion. Erin opened her mouth to speak but Derrick cuts her off.
“Can you change? I’m going to let my wolf out tonight.” He tells her.
Erin nods, keeping the tiny bit of information that the doctor had warned her from changing into her wolf, Usually, she doesn’t because she’s weak even more for being an omega but she, she’s missed her wolf and would like to change if it’s just for some seconds.
Derrick stared at her for some seconds more, the weight of his words in his chest. He wanted to let everything
out, he wanted to let her know but not yet.
“You can change over there and set your clothes aside while I do the same.” He points at the tree, Erin’s eyes
following it. She nods and asks over there to remove her clothes.
Derrick couldn’t help but watch her retreating figure. He had to clear this whole thing up before he leaves
tomorrow. He had to do it so he could have peace of mind.
He walks just a little bit into a shade, carefully pulls his clothes off and bends down on his knees as though preparing for a run. He closed his eyes, the cracking of bones could be heard as he changed into his wolf.
He walks out to where he stood earlier, now waiting for Erin to step out. He cranes his head up and looks at the moon, it carried a semblance of peace today. A semblance of calmness that he wanted every–time. It’s been such a long time he changed into his wolf and now it feels blissful.
The slight ruffling of leaves had him looking at the direction Erin was coming out from. He watched as she steps forward majestically, her fur a beautiful white and brown color. Erin is beautiful but even more in her wolf form. She looked majestic and enchanting.
She tilts her head sideways shyly, after all this is the first time he would be seeing her in her wolf. It’s also the first time she would be seeing him and honestly, she isn’t disappointed. He’s an alpha after all and all alpha blood are unusually large. Even more larger than the normal alphas since he’s from the pack alpha’s line.
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‘You–You’re very beautiful in your wolf form.” Derrick spluttered. Erin chuckled, walking even more closer to him, she nuzzled her snout into his fur, feeling herself purr at the action.
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“Are you saying I’m ugly when I’m in my human form? Is that what you mean, Alpha?” She teased, knowing she’s treading into a territory she shouldn’t after everything that has happened. She knows she shouldn’t but something about him, about Derrick complimenting her wolf had her reeling in butterflies and being a gooey mess internally. This is first time someone would completing her wolf. Ever since she’s been born, it’s always being, you’re so weak! You’re unfit. Not once has she ever heard a person compliment her wolf but he did.
*This is the first time we would speak through mind link. It’s very different and weird.” She says as they’re walked into the woods.
“Well, we haven’t changed into our forms again, have we?” She stays silent after that, knowing the real reason for the invite out tonight would soon be out. They were almost at the lake, the same place where she discovered her feelings towards him wasn’t simple. The place they had kiss and it felt like a blindfold had been removed from her eyes. The same place where she was able to…
“Why?” He asks and there it is. The reason.
“Why?”
They stop by the lake, the moon bearing a witness to their presence. It was just like that night, the moon. shinning rather beautifully into the lake, the crickets sound buzzing into the quiet night, the chilled air of the night.
“You know what I’m talking about, Erin. Don’t play dumb.” He snaps, turning to stare at her.
“Why have you been avoiding me since what happened?” He lowered his voice that if they were in their human form then she wouldn’t have heard him speak.
“I–I’m not avoiding you.” She looks away, unable to look him in the eyes after lying because she truly had been avoiding him. How could she not when just five days ago, he was in the arms of Samantha. Samantha who’d had staked her claim on him the moment she came into the pack. Samantha whose mom had warn her heavily.
“I am not avoiding you.” She say, this time much firmer and grounded.
“If you’re not avoiding me then tell me why? Why since what happened then you walk the other way when you see me coming?You rush out like I have some incurable disease whenever I come into a space you’re in?”
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Now she’s taken aback, did he truly notice all of these? Not only does it make her sound ungrateful, it also makes her sound like a fool. How deep was she into her feelings that she didn’t notice him watching her every move because she did all of these that he’s talking about. She runs wherever she sees him, looks away when their eyes
meets.
“Erin.” He steps forward, nuzzling his snout into her fur. Erin shuts her eyes close, remembering everything that had happened that night. The way his hand curled into the nape of her neck, the way he pulled her closer to him, his arms around her waist. The instead urge to submit. She remembered and even the hunger in his eyes for her. She remembers everything but.
“I’m sorry.” She steps back. Derrick looks at her baffled and confused.
“Wha-?”
“What happened that night was a mistake! I- I wasn’t in my right senses and I kissed you.”
“What are you” saying, Erin?”
“I’m sorry because I overstepped my boundaries and I shouldn’t have.” With every word vomit that she said, she felt the intense need to hug him. Instead she looks away towards the lake.
“I like you, I like you a lot.” He presses forward
It stung, for the first time in her life, someone actually likes her just like she does but she can’t accept it. She can’t accept it not when she had this much baggage her. She can’t accept it when she has the pup of another growing inside her. She can’t accept it because he has Samantha and would never try to come between that. She’s had enough problems as it as and now, she doesn’t want it.
“I only avoided you because I regretted what happened so bad and I just couldn’t bring myself to apologize but now that you’re mentioning it.”
“Stop. Just stop it. I know you don’t regret anything. I know you’re only lying so stop it.”
“I’m sorry but that’s the truth! I’m sorry okay! I know I shouldn’t have. I know I shouldn’t have returned your kiss and made you feel like I liked you too when I didn’t. I don’t. Everything that happened that night was a terrible mistake that I regret up to this moment. I wish I hadn’t given you-”
Derrick scoffed, suddenly feeling the need to speak in his human form. He wanted to change and speak to her. She’s lying and he knows it. She’s not telling him the truth and he.
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–“Did I do something?” He asks, unable to come up with anything else.
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“I–You didn’t. You’ve been the best to me, sincerely and I am eternally grateful for your help and everything you have done to me. I am- I am grateful, you don’t know how much i appreciate you taking me into your pack and that’s the more reason why I refuse to play with your feelings. I don’t like you. I don’t think I would ever like you. I’m sorry for making you believe otherwise because this is the truth.”
“So you just..” he trailed off, the sound of nothing but whistling going off on his head, her words coming back to haunt him.
“You don’t.” He trailed off again.
“I’m really sorry but I don’t return your feelings.” Erin looks at the path they had come from, she looks back at him but he was only staring at the lake, now a few feet away from her.
She felt broken and this time it’s different. This time she’s the one hurting the one person that’s done nothing but accept her for who she is without judging her. This time she’s the one breaking his heart and nothing feels shittier than this.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered like it’s some sort of bandaid that would magically heal what she’s done but it’s nothing and it’s meaningless. She knows this. She knows it’s meaningless.
“I–I’m going to go back now. P–please come back soon.” Derrick doesn’t look at her for even a second, he doesn’t even look like he heard her. Erin shuffles about, the dry leaves crinkling as she moved about, not knowing what to do. Should she leave or should she..
“I’m sorry.” She whispered again but it’s of no use, he still doesn’t reply her. She turns back and began to run, leaving him by the lake. Both of them with their broken hearts.
Derrick sat by the lake, unmoving. Erin’s words keeps ringing in his head. How didn’t he realize this sooner? How did he delude himself to the extent that he didn’t see it? He slowly changes back to his human self, wrapped his arms around his naked frame and buried his head in his arms.
Erin wore the last piece of her clothe, she could feel her heart beat plummeting hard in her chest. Is it from her running or the talk she just had with Derrick? She had no idea. She took a step but stops as a wave of dizziness hits her badly. She brings her hand up to her head and touches her forehead, her skin was heating up badly and she knew why.
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Erin stayed still for some minutes then steps forward just for a bit, but the dizziness spell is back. She swallows hard, but managed to walk into the pack house. She slowly trudged up to her room, feeling even more terrible than she felt back there. Her body seemed to be growing hot rapidly, her legs felt heavy but she pushed through. She shuts the door to her room and falls to the bed, groaning in pain. She didn’t think the repercussion got her changing into her wolf would come this soon. Normally she only felt weak after changing and running for a bit but this.. this was worse. Her entire body felt like it had been doused in hot oil. She should’ve listened to the doctor and she knew it but Derrick. Derrick is more important.
She shut her eyes close, hoping to talk to Derrick tomorrow and apologize even more after what happened tonight. Even if she’s dragged to the hospital tomorrow, she would have to see Derrick first.
The next morning, Derrick leaves the pack with Dylan, leaving Alexander the beta, in–charge of the pack until his
return.
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